The past week brought memories of our first taste of nationwide lockdown. What we thought as a temporary adjustment lasted for months and soon enough,  the health issue translated a global economic recession. Did life get better? I thought life will be better and we'll return to our pre-covid life after a year. But in the case of my country, looks like a second wave is coming. Cases are continuously increasing and I'm worried of another pending lockdown. 

I'm not doing good in terms of level of stress and worries. I feel frustrated and uninspired. There's this project I can't finish. I regularly deal with impatient and inconsiderate wfm colleagues. Rather than complaining and passing the work to onsite colleagues, can they be a little appreciative of their wfm advantage? I recognize that they work on prolonged hours in a wfm arrangement. Unfortunately, the same happens to me and my colleagues who work onsite. We are equally overworked, while risking our safety to ensure that the institution remains up and running. 

I still have crying episodes at least once or twice a week. I feel relieved when some friends take time to check on me. I live for discreet messages and supportive friends. Once in a while, I get invites for lunch outs or grab food deliveries from older colleagues turned friends. They don't know how much they saved me and my sanity. There's someone who makes me smile through emails. But I don't know, I have a feeling my this will end up as another stupid story. :( It's another case of allowing myself to be taken advantaged.  On weekends, I try my best to see my cousins for a change in environment and as always, samgyeopsal night. While I'm happy with the company, all those fats and cholesterol will make me feel guilty on the succeeding weeks. But TBH, having people around me makes me feel better. This is surprising for the introvert in me. I suddenly long having my favorite people around me. 

I'm filled with negative thoughts. Apologies but like everyone else, I just wish to be better and happier.